Saturday, December 29, 2012

Finding Jesus


Have you ever had a time when you are so mad at someone you could see red. They did something so stupid you don't understand how they could have possibly did it without realizing they were an idiot. Like when your brother brings up your ex boyfriend the first time he meets the new boyfriend, or your friend takes your car, hits a deer and then leaves it in the driveway for you. This is how I picture Mary and Joseph looking at Jesus when they finally find him and hear his explanation for why he was not in the caravan.

Jesus is 12. At the age of 12 many young men would be apprenticing, they would be treated not as children but young adults. They would have responsibilities and obligations. The family had traveled many miles together for the passover celebration and it would have been expected that Jesus would help get things packed up and join with everyone else to go back. He would know it is time to go home.

At the end of the first day of the journey he was no where to be found. I can see Mary and Joseph and their family searching frantically for him. Where did he go? How could they have lost him? God asked me to raise his son and now we have gone and lost him!? If I was them I would also be thinking about what kind of punishment I was going to give him when I got my hands on him. Then the frenzy turns into three days of searching and going back to the temple. As a mother, by that third day there would be no thought of punishment just gratefulness that I found him and that he was okay. Then, I probably would be angry with his peevish response, “Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?” This was most likely also insulting to Joseph who was representing his earthly father and had adopted him as fully as any father of the time could have.

I truly tried to put myself in Mary's shoes. Would I be so grateful to find him in one piece and safe that I would not mind his response, or would I be angry because he had made me worry so. Would I think that Jesus knew what he needed to do and where he should have been and he didn't even have the courtesy to tell me what he was doing? Would I have seen red because of his blatant disregard for what I wanted or would I have been grateful for him being okay? Or perhaps both.

Isn't this like our relationships with Jesus now. We go along on our way thinking Jesus is with us and then when we can't find him we get upset, sometimes we get down right mad at Jesus. Sometimes we expect Jesus to be in something and we can't see him. We can't see how it is going to work out, what is going on, where we are going or what we are supposed to be doing. WE feel lost and worried and alone. Yet Jesus is right where Jesus needs to be doing right what Jesus needs to be doing – just like at the temple. When we finally figure out a piece of the puzzle and look back and see where Jesus was and what he was doing are we mad or grateful? Are we still angry that our plan didn't work out? That our little journey home was four times as long and took a huge detour? Are we grateful for that? Or do we get so caught up in our plan that we don't take time to be grateful for the detour and all that we learned on it.

The Colossians passage that we read at the beginning of service (Colossians 3:12-17) tells us in v. 17 that “whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” We don't know where Jesus is in our lives all the time. That is just how it is. Mary and Joseph didn't either. If they didn't and they were his earthly parents then why should we be any different? We are promised that he he is our Emmanuel – God with us. We know that he walks beside us and never leaves us. From Jeremiah 29:11 we hear from God “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope an a future.” With all of that when we can't know what God is doing, when we don't understand or are left looking and wondering as Mary and Joseph were, we are called by Colossians to remember to do everything in the name of the Lord and give thanks for everything. We are called to find things to be grateful for and to keep Jesus at the center of our lives even when we are wondering around feeling lost. We are never truly lost from Jesus, we may just now understand what he is doing. Just like Mary and Joseph we just may not “get it” until later on when we can see the big picture and Jesus is in front of us. Perhaps during this Christmas season and throughout the entire New Year that is exactly what we are called to do – be grateful and do everything in Jesus' name – even when we can't seem to see what Jesus is doing in our lives and we can't find any answers.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Bible Study - Redefining Evangelism

Hello all you happy readers.  I have a Bible study coming in January on redefining Evangelism that I just finished pulling together for a class. It is a way to look at some of those key words - salvation, kingdom of God, evangelism and see what that means to us now.  It also helps you to look at evangelism differently than knocking on doors, and screaming about hell from the pulpit.   It is more about living your faith everyday.  Let me know if you are interested and I can get you details.

Happy Holidays!
Missy

Salvation now!



At seminary a few weeks ago I heard a sermon on being in the in between times. We are on a journey and we are in between what we want to be and what we are , and what we had been. We are in a journey in school heading to graduation, but are in the in between. But this is true for all of us. We are in between starting a job and retirement. We have in between birth and death, we are an in between people – looking forward at where we want to go, looking back at where we have been and experiencing the now in all its imperfections. That too is Zechariah's story. In Luke 1:68-79 Zechariah speaks for the first time in nine long months. He is told of the coming of his son John and because of his and Elizabeth's age does not quite believe it. So he is struck mute until the child came and Zechariah nodded his agreement with Elizabeth that their son should be John. Which was against the culture and customs of the time. His community expected the son to be named Zechariah!

Zechariah knew from what the angels had told him that he was at the cusp of a new time. That he was in between seeing it actualized and it beginning. He was stuck in the in between. But in that uncomfortable time of knowing change is here and knowing what that is going to unfold like he sang this psalm of joy to the Lord.

Zechariah reminds us that God has been in the mix since the beginning. God has been with Israel in the prophets and the covenants and never has God been unfaithful to his people. God is always faithful to his covenants from Abraham on. He testifies to his son being the one to point us toward the savior of us all, and gratitude for that savior. He does not yet know that John will die fulfilling God's will to point to the savior and encourage people to repent of their separations from God. He does not know how this savior will play out for the world, but he is faithfully waiting in the in between time for God to fulfill God's promises.

Finally he reminds us that the savior will (1:77) “give knowledge of salvation to his people by the forgiveness of their sins. (v. 78) By the tender mercy of our God, the dawn from on high will break upon us, (v.79) to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.”

That is the summary of Jesus' time on Earth and what the Holy Spirit does for us today! Today this very day a bit more than 2000 years later this message is for us. Knight and Powe remind us of how Wesley saw salvation”
        “Wesley believes in going to heaven, but that is not for him the heart of salvation. Commenting on             Ephesians 2:8 (“Ye are saved through faith”) Wesley says the salvation spoken of in this text “is not a blessing which lies on the other side of death. . . . It is not something at a distance;” instead “it is a present thing, a blessing which, through the free mercy of God, ye are now in possession of.”6 It is the gift of a new life, a life we have in the present, and which death cannot take from us. It is heaven in the heart.”1

Salvation is a new life now. The forgiveness of our separations our sins is for now in our in between, while we are on our journey. The new life awaits us, the joy, and the “way of peace” as Zechariah says it is here. This is our story at advent. Advent is a time of waiting for the coming of Christ. It is the in between time when we examine our lives and see where we are on this journey. Are we ready for salvation – for a deeper relationship with Christ in our life now? Are we willing to stop holding onto what we think we should be doing, what should be happening and truly offer it up to God. Are we ready to truly, daily give our lives over to God so that we can experience salvation, and peace in our everyday. A way of living where no matter how bad our circumstances are we can truly find comfort in the Lord, offer our worries, fears and anxieties to the Lord and experience the joy of not walking this road alone. To know that the Holy Spirit walks beside us, that we are not alone in our sadness and loneliness. This is Zechariah's prayer for each of us. This is my prayer. May our God who came to us as Jesus, to show us the path to salvation break into our everyday lives and walk with us in peace. Let us truly get ready to invite Christ into our hearts and lives again this Christmas season.

Amen.

1Knight, Henry; Powe, Doug (2006-10-24). Transforming Evangelism, The Wesleyan Way of Sharing Faith (Kindle Locations 75-79). Discipleship Resources. Kindle Edition.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Kindergarten

I am waiting in anxious anticipation of school starting.  My little girl begins kindergarten in a matter of days.  No more lazy mornings. No more extra snuggles, no more  days of planning field trips and outings.  She will be gone from 8-3 or some near semblance of that and I am left with an empty pit in my stomach, a litany of fearful thoughts rushing through my head and a bucketful of regret on all the ways I should have done more, been more, played more, read more, baked more..... with this tiny little gift God gave me.

Have a wasted precious time with my baby girl?  We are so much a like that we hit heads constantly.  My high standards for everything are too often pushed upon my little girl who is just a little girl, and my push for perfection is pushed onto her at times as well.  I am left with the echoing wonder of how often did I do that?  Will she remember?  Will she fight herself and her own expectations of herself as I fight mine?  Does she feel she will never meet my expectations?

She cracks a joke, twirls around and swirls after her brother into the other room requesting tickle time, when I am done with.... (fill in the blank).  Then at the end of the evening I realize, and of course she reminds me, I never got to the last game of tickle time.  I missed our morning snuggle or we didn't do  an art project today and the pangs of regret ring through.  

Sometimes I sneak into her room at night and snuggle up with her when everything is done wishing I had not put her aside, but the other things.  Regretting that I missed that game, or tickle time, or story, or snuggle time.  Hoping I have time to make amends tomorrow.  Yet with the advent of school the tomorrows are not the same and there is now no time to make amends.

The downward spiral of regret can threaten to take you over unless you put it back in perspective.  If I keep up on the cleaning I can spend more time with them because I won't be a crazy woman feeling overwhelmed by the house.  We need to eat, I have to cook dinner, and maybe just maybe she needs some practice in patience.  Goodness knows I stink at having those.

So here I sit at 10 o'clock crying my eyes out because kindergarten fast approaches and our lives will be changed forever.  I wonder if she will hate it or love it, strive and thrive, or withdraw and crumple.  I have seen her do all of the above so I truly don't know what she will face or how to help her or what to do.

I realize in this moment that is being a parent.  Loving someone so much you cry for them, you cry because of them and you do all that you can to support them, yet you are powerless.  You are completely powerless over the ultimate outcome and you have to simply step aside and watch.  I wonder if God ever feels this way.  I wonder if this is part of his pain. Watching us flounder, grow, and use our free will, while all the time he is standing beside us trying to let us walk on our own two feet without helping too much so that we can grow and make our own decisions.  

I know I need the help now.   God please give me the strength and courage I need to live in today, not regret yesterday and do what I need to in order to be a good parent to my babies.
Thank you Lord. Amen.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Holy Spaces


8/26/12

Today we hear a very old story of King Solomon building a temple for God. I have read this story many times, but each time something different strikes me as being important. Today verse 27 where Solomon says “Even heaven and the highest heaven cannont contain you, much less this hourse that I have built!”. He goes on to ask that God answer prayers said in the temple, or even when facing towards the temple. Finally he asks that even foreigners' prayers be heard when praying towards this house, so that all people may know the Lord's name and fear you. For the people at this time fearing the Lord was not like a battered child, but a deep respect and awe for the power of the Lord. An acknowledgment of God's awesome power and might for those who weren't even the people of Israel.

Solomon is telling us so much about God right here that we can use to better understand God right now, here in this place and in our lives. It is amazing. God is bigger than any building, any community, any space. God is surrounding us, loving us, and walking with us. God is close to us and can not be contained by us. Let that sink in for just a minute. What does that mean? For me, that means no matter where I am, what I am doing, thinking or feeling, God is with me. God is surrounding me in my everyday life. How amazing is that?

With that acknowledgement Solomon continues to pray regarding the temple. Despite the very knowledge that we can not contian God in a building Solomon asks that those who pray in that building or towards that building be heard and the prayers be answered. Even with the knowledge that God is all around us, Solomon acknowledges are human need to have a space of community, a visual representation of sacred “God” space to aim our prayers at.

We hear so oftent that the church is a people, not a place. I have said it and so have many others, but I think Solomon reminds us that the space, the place that we worship is important too. Sometimes we need to be assured of God's presence. Sometimes we are so lost, lonely, broken, forlorn and on the brink of devastation that we can't imagine God walking beside us. We need to know with a gurantee where we can find God. Where we can pay and be assured we are heard, where we can just be and hope to soak up some peace. This is why churches are important. Why we come here sometimes even when we are busy and have a million things to do.

Not only is God guranteed in this place but even those who have just heard of God's love and commitment to his people are welcomed to come and pray. All are welcome to the house of the Lord. All can come here no matter what get to know God's presence a bit. What an amazing message for us this day. I want you to take a few moments right now if you so choose to just allow yourself to feel God's presence with us today. Let your soul reach out and feel the Lord in this space. I can only imagine the people at the temple during Solomon's prayer felt a little like this too.

Who is truly King of your life?



How do you know something is true? How do you know that it isn't a piece of information or fact that has been twisted into a new truth. After witnessing a particularly nasty political season we all have seen truth twisted so that it bears no resemblance to what it once was. We have witnessed those who manipulate truth in order to change minds, sway opinions and gain followers. It does not matter if you are on the left or the right. It doesn't matter if you are a politician now or two thousand years ago truth was not easy to figure out. Pilot knows this better than most. He is ruthless, brutal and cares nothing for the Jews nor most of his subjects. He only cares about where he is in the pecking order with Caesar and this little issue with Jesus is truly in his way.

Pilate has to reach a conclusion. He has gone between the people accusing Jesus of trying to be a king and Jesus trying to figure out if he is truly trying to have political power or if he is just angering the Jewish leadership. He has to deal with the matter without making great waves and it getting back to Caesar. If there is a riot between Jesus' followers and the rest of the Jews that just means more trouble.

Jesus tells him twice that he is not a king. He is not a ruler of a particular group. He does speak of his kingdom being not of this world - which finally gives Pilot something to go with. He also tells Pilot that his followers will not take up arms to save him since his kingdom is not of this world.

This gives Pilot the room he needs to satisfy the Jewish religious elite and stop any rioting from occurring. All he has to do is order Jesus to his death.

But then Jesus says, “You say that I am a king. For this I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice.”

Pilot truly questions what is the truth....

That I think is the question Jesus leaves with each of us. What is the truth we live? Who is king over our life and our soul? Do we let the worries of this world, the twisted truths that we see, hear and live everyday rule our lives, or do we look towards that which is not of this world? Do we look toward God to help us hear the truth, to help us find our way? Can we hold up what we think we know as truth to God and truly listen? Are we willing to see that it isn't what we thought it was? Are we ready to see things in a new way – for that is what God does. That is Jesus' truth. A new way of living and being. Jesus' truth is a way of understanding God's love in new ways that release us from our pain when we allow ourselves to listen to the truth.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Coming to the Table


Sermon for Ames
8/19/12

 I went through a period when I was becoming Catholic where I just couldn't understand transubstantiation, this is the Catholic belief that the elements become the actual body and the actual blood of Christ and it is a mystical moment. All of communion is supposed to be mystical. I just couldn't buy it. I was a science major, I knew science, and transubstantiation was not possible.  I had prayed about it for several months as I was getting ready for my confirmation and refused to be confirmed if I couldn't get my head around this idea. Then I went to a church service across the Hudson River in this large church and I prayed that God help me to understand. As the priest raised his hands and asked Jesus into the elements, I felt a feeling of God's presence so large, overwhelming, yet all encompassing and loving that it is beyond words. Tears poured out of my eyes and I felt so awed I had difficulty raising myself to go to the altar for a blessing. I did go through with becoming Catholic. I was not sure if that was transubstantiation but God's presence was there and that was good enough for me.

As I have come to understand more about the protestant stands on communion and in particular the United Methodist stance, I have come to understand my experience a bit more. For us the scientific fact of it actually turning into God's flesh and blood is not the case. It is the out pouring of the spirit on those elements, God's presence in that space and our choosing to come to the table. Grace is beyond our choice. God's pull on our lives is always there, but we do have the choice to accept it. To come to the table in eager anticipation of being filled with God's love and in that love trying to walk God's path out of love. As our communion service say - "Make them be for us the body of Christ that we may be for the world the body of Christ redeemed by his blood." (UMH p. 10).

When Jesus used the metaphor of becoming the bread and blood of salvation he meant to be shocking. Some may have understood him to be literal but he was playing off a cultural experience of the time to ingest portions of Holy scrolls to remind oneself of how to live. To take in the Holy in such a way that it becomes part of you and you must live it out. To suggest that he was the Holy was truly shocking, but ingesting the Holy wasn't completely novel.

Jesus calls his flesh and blood to be true food or true spiritual fulfillment, and compares it to the Manna that left you wanting. He is promising here that the new covenant that includes him is going to be different to wandering lost in the desert and being given just enough to sustain life but not really satisfy. Jesus will satisfy our hunger if we choose to accept the grace that is offered us, that is constantly pulling us, causing us to be hungry for something. That restless feeling of needing more spiritually is a call to come to the communion table, to choose to be fed.

The absolute miracle of communion is that when you choose to come to the table truly seeking Christ, truly wanting to be spiritually fed, Jesus has promised to meet you there. Not only has
Jesus promised to meet you there, but he promised to help you live out that life.

So how do you choose to come to the communion table? Is it a process devoid of any real commitment, or are you truly expecting to meet Christ? Are you coming feeling hungry and dissatisfied with your spiritual life or do you not have time to think of such things? What kind of life are choosing to have? A life without Christ, or an eternal life? Are you choosing to have Christ live in you, to answer that pull? To truly believe that Christ came to rewrite our covenant with God, no matter how outrageous it seemed at the time or even today? How do you come to the table?

Jesus the Bread of Life


August 12, 2012
John 6:35-51

I find much comfort in this week's passage by John. It is not so much John's attempt at explaining the mystery of communion, or the resurrection, both extremely important topics, but it is in the disagreement in interpretation. Jesus is speaking to the people, and people are misinterpreting him. Right there, even at the time. It may sound small, petty and selfish, but it gives me a whole lot of hope. God did not give up on us, Jesus did not give up on the people he was preaching too, and although as the many denominations point out, no one agrees completely on communion theology, we are promised in verse 37 that, “Everything that the Father gives me will come to me and anyone who comes to me I will never drive away.” He goes on in verse 39 to remind us that I should lose nothing at all that he has given me, but raise it up on the last day.”

John reminds us that Jesus was sometimes difficult to understand. Jesus made many references that the people would understand but he also used a great deal of metaphor and simile. As any middle school English student can tell you these, literary devices are not always easy to understand. For many years, the Romans believed that Christians were cannibals, citing Jesus telling us to eat his flesh. This is just one example of the misinterpretations that can and have occurred throughout the ages.

Then in verse 41 we hear the complaints begin. How can this man claim to have come down from heaven? He is merely human! We know his parents! This is ridiculous.

Jesus refutes them and uses references to Isaiah and Moses to make his point. God draws us to Jesus. We can't do it on our own. We can't just decide to be drawn to Jesus, but rather God draws us to Jesus and all of us who are pulled towards Jesus will have eternal life.

Jesus used the analogy of the bread of life to refer to himself. That is very interesting. At this time period at leas 50% or more of a persons calories were consumed through bread daily. But anyone who has every made bread can tell you this is not a quick process, even today. If you lived at Jesus' time you had to grow the wheat, harvest it, mill it, and then store it without vermin getting into it. Then you have to add the yeast, sugar and water, mix in the flour and let rise, then you needed to knead it, and let rise again. Finally you bake it. This is a lengthy time consuming process. I wonder if following Jesus is not the same. It fills us, gives us everything we need, but is a lengthy, time consuming process.

When Jesus discusses consuming himself he may have also been referencing a traditional practice of writing verses from a Torah and consuming them in order to pull them inside one's self and fully live them daily. By the time Jesus was preaching, it was understood that you did not have to actually eat them, but you had to be with them, be fed by them and spend time with them in order to live them out, just as one has to spend time in food preparation in order to consume it and use it to help sustain their body. We need to spend time with Jesus to sustain our souls.

So why did Jesus choose to be the bread of life? What does it mean that it takes so long to make bread? How are we pulled by God? How are we nourished? What does it mean that every one of us that feels called by God will not be lost? Why all the metaphors? What did Jesus mean then and for us now?

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Bread of Communion


Communion is one of those things that is just difficult to explain. One of the bloggers I summarized it as follows - there are just some experiences beyond our human ability to match words to them and this would be it. I could not concur more with someone about communion. It is beyond words.

I went through a period when I was becoming Catholic where I just couldn't understand transubstantiation, this is the Catholic belief that the elements become the actual body and the actual blood of Christ and it is a mystical moment. All of communion is supposed to be mystical. I just couldn't buy it. I was a science major and I know science and how could this happen. I had prayed about it for several months as I was getting ready for my confirmation and refused to be confirmed if I couldn't get my head around this idea. Then I went to a church service across the Hudson River in this large church and I prayed that God help me to understand. As the priest raised his hands and asked Jesus into the elements, I felt a feeling of God's presence so large, overwhelming, yet all encompassing and loving that it is beyond words. Tears poured out of my eyes and I felt so awed I had difficulty raising myself to go to the altar to accept the gifts. I did go through with becoming Catholic. I was not sure if that was transubstantiation but God's presence was there and that was good enough for me.

As I have come to understand more about the protestant stand on communion and in particular the United Methodist stance I have come to understand my experience a bit more. For us the scientific fact of it actually turning into God's flesh and blood is not the case. It is the out pouring of the spirit on those elements, God's presence in that space and our choosing to come to the table. Grace is beyond our choice. God's pull on our lives is always there, but we do have the choice to accept it. To come to the table in eager anticipation of being filled with God's love and in that love trying to walk God's path out of love. As our communion service say - "Make them be for us the body of Christ that we may be for the world the body of Christ redeemed by his blood." (UMH p. 10).

When Jesus used the metaphor of becoming the bread and blood of salvation he meant to be shocking. Some may have understood him to be literal but he was playing off a cultural experience of the time to ingest portions of Holy scrolls to remind oneself of how to live. To take in the Holy in such a way that it becomes part of you and you must live it out. To suggest that he was the Holy was truly shocking, but ingesting the Holy wasn't completely novel.

Jesus calls his flesh and blood to be true food or true spiritual fulfillment, and compares it to the Manna that left you wanting. He is promising here that the new covenant that includes him is going to be different to wandering lost in the desert and being given just enough to sustain life but not really satisfy. Jesus will satisfy our hunger if we choose to accept the grace that is offered us, that is constantly pulling us, causing us to be hungry for something. That restless feeling of needing more spiritually is a call to come to the communion table, to choose to be fed.

The absolute miracle is of communion is that when you choose to come to the table truly seeking Christ, truly wanting to be spiritually fed, Jesus has promised to meet you there. Not only has
Jesus promised to meet you there, but he promised to help you live out that life.

So how do you choose to come to the communion table? Is it a process devoid of any real commitment, or are you truly expecting to meet Christ? Are you coming feeling hungry and dissatisfied with your spiritual life or do you not have time to think of such things? What kind of life are choosing to have? A life without Christ, or an eternal life? Are you choosing to have Christ live in you, to answer that pull? To truly believe that Christ came to rewrite our covenant with God, no matter how outrageous it seemed at the time or even today? How do you come to the table?

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

The bread of life - metaphor or literal



When I read this passage I could not help but think -  this would be perfect for Bible Study!!!  This would be a great passage to gather my 17 different Bibles around with their varying comments and notes and the commentaries and just tear into it.  Ask the startling questions and take notice of the discord in it.  This is one of those passages that illustrate the disagreements in interpretation. Jesus is speaking himself to people, and people are interpreting him in many different ways.  Their understanding of scriptures, of his words and of his use of simile are all different, and Jesus is standing right in front of them.  It may sound selfish, but it gives me a whole lot of hope. Two thousand years later, we are still having the same problem with varying interpretations of the scriptures and different understandings of what Jesus is telling us.  God did not give up on us, Jesus did not give up on the people he was preaching to.  We are promised in verse 37 that “Everything that the Father gives me will come to me and anyone who comes to me I will never drive away.” He goes on in verse 39 to remind us that I should lose nothing at all that he has given me, but raise it up on the last day.”

John reminds us that Jesus was sometimes difficult to understand. Jesus made many references that the people would understand but he also used a great deal of metaphor and simile and as any middle school English student can tell you these literature devices are not always easy to understand. For many years the Romans believed that Christians were cannibals, citing Jesus telling us to eat his flesh. Many people for the first three hundred years of the Church thought Christians were cannibals and deserved death.

Jesus does not give up on his listeners just as he does not give up on us.  In verse 41 we hear the complaints begin. How can this man claim to have come down from heaven? He is merely human! We know his parents! This is ridiculous.

Jesus refutes them and uses references to Isaiah and Moses to make his point. God draws us to Jesus, and Jesus brings us home to God. We can't do it on our own. We can't just decide to be drawn to Jesus, but rather God draws us to Jesus and all of us who are pulled towards Jesus will have eternal life.  Jesus is promising us that if we are drawn to him we will have eternal life!  He loves us too much to let us go any other way.

Jesus continued to explain his analogy to the Bread of Life to his listeners.  He did not give up.  I find the analogy of the bread of life to be interesting. At this time period at leas 50% or more of a persons calories were consumed through bread daily. But anyone who has every made bread can tell you this is not a quick process. If you lived at Jesus' time you had to grow the wheat, harvest it, mill it, and then store it without vermin getting into it. Then you have to add the yeast, sugar and water, mix in the flour and let rise, then you needed to knead it, and let rise again. Finally you bake it. This is a lengthy time consuming process.

Maybe Jesus was trying to help understand a greater truth in this.  Taking in God, understanding scriptures and living a life devoted to God is not easy.  It takes time and trials and a whole lot of work. You can't just go down to Stewart's and grab a loaf, you actually have to put effort in it.  Not only that but the person next to you may be doing it a little differently. They may have different life experiences, different references for those similes and their interpretation could be different. The person in your pew could have a different interpretation.  The point is that Jesus calls us, that he brings back to the father all that is given to him and he does not lose one.  That Jesus will raise up those given to him.  P

Perhaps we should take a few words from Paul's letter to the Ephesians that we read earlier and remember to love one another.  As Paul said in 4:32- 5:2 and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.  Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children,and live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.  We are to remember that love and forgiveness of one another even when we see things differently.  This is the hope that I found in the passage this week.  We have not agreed in 2000 years on interpretation, chances are we won't in the next 2000 either, but we are called to be imitators of God and live in love with one another.  

Now of course if we really did do this passage for Bible study we would have some questions to share with one another.  So I leave you this morning with some questions to think about.  Why did Jesus choose to be the bread of life - why that metaphor? What does it mean that it takes so long to make that bread - what could that mean to your personal life? How are we pulled by God? How are we nourished? What does it mean that every one of us that feels called by God will not be lost? What did Jesus mean then, and for us now?

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Unity in Christ


As I read Ephesians 2:11-22 this week I could not help but think that differences of interpretation, differences in understanding, in culture, and in people have always been an issue for the church. There have always been people who disagreed. Think back to when Jesus walked the Earth. As much as Peter loved Jesus they still disagreed – Granted Jesus was right, but Peter came around and understood it later, and it didn't stop them from working together in the mean time.

At this time Paul is writing to several churches in Ephesus. He is reminding them who they are. Sometimes we need to be reminded of that as well. He reminded them that we are one family and one in Christ. In today's multi-denominational world where fragmentation is a whole lot easier than trying to work together in love we forget that. The Presbyterians are Christians. The Catholics are Christians. The Episcopals are Christians. The United Methodist are Christians. The Baptist are Christians and the list goes on. Sometimes we need to be reminded of that. I think last fall that became very clear to us. When we housed and fed the people who came to work in Middleburgh and Schoharie last year we had wonderful conversations with Christians from many denominations. We fed each other, we were one family. We realized the divisions were not as deep as we thought. We do not agree on specifics regarding theology – we have had two thousand years to become divided on some of these questions, but like the Ephesians we can remember who our cornerstone is - Jesus.

Paul is explicitly telling us about the differences between the people in these churches. They weren't little differences they were big differences. There were major cultural and social differences (ie who could eat what, who could talk to whom, how many of the laws did you have to follow...etc) in these churches and they were trying to figure out how to make this new life in Christ work. Paul reminds them that we must put to death the hostilities we have toward each other even when we don't agree. We have access in One Spirit to the Father (v. 18). He doesn't tell us that the differences don't exist, but the hostility has to go.

Not only does Paul acknowledge our differences which still exist today, but he goes further v. 21-22 “in him the whole structure is joined together and grows into a holy temple in the Lord; in whom you also are built together spiritually into a dwelling place for God.”

This is totally amazing. Jesus is our cornerstone and with him, each other and those who passed before us we are joined together and grow into the temple of the Lord. The temple in Jerusalem had been destroyed at this point, and he is reminding those who knew it and those who only ever knew pagan temples that God no longer exists in a building. God is within in us. We as a people are the dwelling place for God where all are welcome as one family.

We are one people despite our denominational titles. We are one people despite our theological differences. We are one people despite our differences. We are the people of God. We are one family in which all are welcome. We are the temple of God, the dwelling place here on Earth....

Take a minute. Let the implications of that resonate. What does that mean? How does that make you feel? How does that change us? As individuals? As a people? As a Church? As the dwelling place for God?

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Great Expectations Great Faith



This text is one of the ones that you hear and think that you know what it is all about. You hear the story of the rejection of Jesus' teachings by his home town crowd and hear how he then goes out to do his work in the towns around his home town and sends out his disciples to do the same with no complaint, just the comment that prophets are always rejected at home.

It seems pretty simple, until we pay attention to the details. As my grandma would say the devil is in the details. This time though it really isn't the devil, but a hint, a tiny picture of how God deals with us. The whole battle between predestination theories (those who think God determines everything before we are born), and those who are complete free will advocates gets a little kick in this passage. Of course there is the third road in this battle for all the Methodist out there, we have free will and predestination – God just knows what we are going to choose and works around that. But back to the text.

Mark tells us that Jesus could “do no deed of power there, except that he laid his hands on a few sick people and cured them. And he was amazed at their unbelief.” So what does that mean? Does God's power depend on our belief? I don't think so. There are stories of God healing unbelievers who become believers. Mark also tells us in verse 7 that he gave them authority over all unclean spirits and later on in verse 13 he tells of all the demons that were cast out. They did not need faith for God to have power over them. God simply has the power and authority to do what ever God wants, so why did he not do the “great works? What is Jesus trying to tell us here?

We are told that Jesus did perform a few healings in the same breathe that we are told he could do no deed of power. What were the deeds of power then? After raising a child from her death bed, and raising Lazarus from his tomb were even the disciples expecting Jesus to walk around pulling people back from the brink of death or even death and everything else was just small potatoes?

Maybe we get that way too. Maybe like Mark we get so used to the way things work for us that we forget to appreciate or even see the miracles we are surrounded with each day. We live in a privileged society where many of us have homes. We may not get to eat gourmet food but we have food. Our children do not need to worry about clean water and shoes, but worry about who to text on their smart phones. We are so used to living in our privilege that we don't recognize miracles when we see them. A perfect sunset, a safe trip home from the store, the smile of an elderly relative, the story of the person sitting next to us at work, on the bus, or even in church.

I think Jesus' warning here is about becoming so familiar so comfortable with him that we lose our faith. Verse 6 he tells us that he was amazed at their unbelief. We have made Jesus very personal in our culture and sometimes we forget, or do not know how to deal with the pure power of God. We are uncomfortable with the God who can calm a horrible storm, but in doing so creates a lot of hard work for us to row to the other side, or the God who can raise the dead but doesn't solve their problems, or a God who controls demons. We like the personal God who cares about us, who provides for us, and can cure our ailments. We like the God who comforts and does not challenge. We like to continue living in the level of privilege we are used to without questioning it. We want our God to solve all our problems with his miracles. We want a pure escape button. But God does not work that way – what would we learn from it if he did. When we are challenged like Jesus challenged those in his own community to look, to repent, to choose a new path we are uncomfortable. When we are challenged to step out of our comfort zone, to consider the needs and justice of our society we can become uncomfortable. When we read about Jesus bucking social norms we have to ask ourselves what would he buck today? The treatment of Latinos by many of our governments in the south west? The denial of civil rights to our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters? What about the race divide between black and whites that still exists although it is routinely denied? Would Jesus challenge us on these issues. I believe so.

Sometimes we are so uncomfortable that we doubt God or God's presence. We loose our faith, or are so afraid of loosing our faith that we block out the modern day applications, we don't question or even think critically about our faith – trying to protect it. But that does not protect it, that simply leaves room for doubt.

I think the challenge for us here is to not forget that God is truly in control, yet we have free will and free choice. To remember that when we are challenged by God's word we should not run or scream back that the deliverer must be wrong because it does not conform to our expectations of God, but listen to the challenge with faith.

Consider the challenges brought to you in and out of the church and stop assuming you know the answers. Stop jumping to your normal conclusion and leave room for questions, leave room for your faith and for God to show you a new truth, a new idea, a new way. Leave room for God to work. If we choose to continue shutting down all that we find challenging like the people in Nazareth did then we will find the same unhappy ending – Jesus unable to do any great acts and leaving to work in the surrounding area. Of course God can work anywhere, with or without your consent, but I like to think from this passage, God desires our consent and we get a lot more out of it when we lay our assumptions
aside and leave room for Jesus to do his great acts.


What are your challenges? What is Jesus challenging us to do today? How do you feel to have free will and know that it is a gift from God? What can you do to make space for God?   

Thursday, July 5, 2012

An interesting encounter

Today I took my children to a wonderful event at one of the local libraries.  We had a great time and found books and they were very well behaved.  The library happens to also house an art museum.  Since John and I had seen the exhibit that was currently being shown several years earlier and the paintings were all up high I decided to take the kids so they could check it out.  They see art that we do, they see what is in books or a few pieces on a wall, but have not really experienced an art museum in their memory.  This is when the journey went down hill.

The woman behind the counter reminded me to not let them touch anything.  Silly me assumed she met the art work.  Of course I gave her my word they would not.  Then she commented that my son needed a tissue.  He has a speech issue and he drools quite a bit, especially when his allergies are in full swing.  I already had one, and took care of it.  Then we began to look at the exhibits.  I noticed the woman looking in the window as we looked at the first room of exhibits. Then she came in and walked around several times.  We moved onto the second room of exhibits and then she came in again and walked around a bit.  We were playing a game to get them to notice details in the paintings.  They had to stand under their favorite and then share why it was their favorite, and then their second favorite and so on.  Caleb touched the wall as he stood under his favorite.  The woman scuttled over and said you really must not touch anything.  I explained the children had not touched any art work, at most they may have touched the wall.  She emphasized that was not acceptable.  They were to touch nothing.  I told her I would make sure the touched nothing and she left.

I was so angry I teared up.  I told the children we were no longer welcomed and needed to leave.  We left and as I was packing up the kids in the car, the words from Chris at Bible Study came back to me as we studied Acts 18: 9-10, "Do not be afraid, but speak and do not be silent: for I am with you....."

I remembered Chris telling me that some people have difficulty in doing that and that is why it is part of my job to do it.  I need to stand up for those who are too afraid.  Between that and my anger about being followed around just because I had young children I went back into talk to the woman.

All though I did not get through it without tears, I did explain to her that her behavior and comments made me feel like a criminal and it was very degrading.  I shared my frustration at wanting to share great works of art with my children so that they could learn to love art and if they were not acceptable then the institution should clearly state that.  She said she did not mean it that way and was very flustered.  Then we left.

I have been running it through my head afterwards today.  I was thinking I had a taste of what all those other groups who are routinely persecuted feel.  I could have just as easily felt the feelings of anger, resentment, judgement and frustration for simply being me that a young black man may feel in a white area, a gay person holding hands with her partner in a public square, a homeless person making my way on the street, a Latino in Arizona, a woman in an all male board room, or a poor person shopping in an upper middle class store may feel.  The incident took away my "white, middle class privilege" for the briefest of moments and I hated it. The funny thing is I am not usually aware of that privilege until it is taken away.

The feeling of uneasiness, of not belonging, of threat could be present in any of those situations for any of us.  The hurt, the rage, the anger at being unjustly accused of something that did not harm was there.  I wonder how will I feel going into another art museum.  I know I won't go back there for some time, as God is still working on me and I have way too much pride for my own good.  But the question is still there will I go back?  What about those other groups who don't have a choice?  What about all the other people who experience that level of prejudice daily?

This then made me think about our churches.

How do you think people who usually do not attend church feel when they come into our churches?  Are there comments that seem unobtrusive but are really biting and hurtful when combined with actions that we exhibit to new people?  Do we make people feel unwelcomed without asking them to leave exactly but with out behavior, and words?  What about those kids who run screaming through the sermon to the pulpit - are they and their parents welcomed?  The gay couple holding hands while listening to God's word next to the straight couple who have been doing the same thing for the last ten years - are they welcomed?  What about the homeless person who could not shower?  The man in his work clothes because he does not have time to change?  What about woman whose husband has died and although young and able bodied can't force herself to stand when she is supposed to because her body is just so heavy with grief?  Do you know her pain, or are you assuming she is just choosing not to respect God?

I wonder sometimes how much my assumptions affect my behavior.  I think this little experience will help me to focus on when I begin making judgments and assumptions so I can at least be aware of what I am doing.  Hopefully catching myself before any actions or words of harm leave me.  So I can truly try to be simply God's love and not pretend to know how to pass judgement, since I can't do it right either.

Apologies for my absence

Hello any who actually follow my blogs.  I just wanted to give you a quick note to let you know I am trying to get back to posting my sermons and other odd ponderings.  We were on vacation, and then have had some other things come up lately that has made computer time difficult.  Thanks for your patience.
Missy

Friday, June 1, 2012

Thank God For Many Blessings

I am at conference right now, listening to some of the speakers, the testimonies, the outrage over general conference, the hurt and the pain.  I know I am not alone.  I know that I am amongst friends. Not only am I here with friends, but this is my community.  We are struggling together.  We are working together.  We understand that we are crusty, craggy, cranky, hurt, injured, callused, and pained.  We are the people God has called though.  We are are called to allow God to work in those spaces.  We are asked to be careful, to continue to work and to listen.  We are called to stop listening to our own voices and begin listening to the music that is the voice of all the others - even those we don't agree with.  We are called to listen and be with and cultivate each other.  It is time my friends to unite, to start doing instead of talking and to show our voices, not just complain behind close doors!  Let us go out into the world and fight for social justice - not just talk about it!
Praise God!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Pentecost - refreshing the stale church


May 27, 2012

John 16: 7-11

Everyone has experienced going to the cupboard or counter and finding an old stale role. It is crusty and dry and usually a bit more hollow then it started. It is tasteless and sometimes no amount of toasting and covering it with honey makes it any better.

Well that is exactly what Jesus is talking about here. Jesus is talking about the Jewish church, but it could just as easily be our church right now. Jesus is talking about how the people have been trapped in their own traditions, thoughts and practices. The people have been trapped by their own ideas. He came in order to break that down, and now he is promising “the Advocate” the one to help us through this transition. The trap that we have run into is thinking that it was simply the transition from Judaism to Christianity. Sometimes we don't realize that it is the same thing that we are facing right now.

Do you ever feel that your spiritual life is in a rut? You do the same things each week? You go to church, you may do a Bible study once a week either by yourself or others and you pray. You try to live by the rules set out in the Bible, and be a good person. You know exactly what you are going to do, and how God talks to you and that is what you expect.

The Jewish people knew that. Jesus says he is sending the Advocate to help us. That the advocate will prove the world wrong about sin, righteousness, and judgment. When we see that we always think the outside world. The other, everyone else will be proven wrong. We are set aside so of course we are right. Go ahead Advocate prove that stubborn self centered world wrong.

But here Jesus is referring to the Jewish church, and could just as easily be referring to our church as I said before. Last week Pastor Dale talked about the scoffers. Those who can't see the good, who think they know what they need to know and feel it their duty to tell the other idiots in the world why they are idiots. This is what Jesus is talking about with the Advocate proving the world wrong with sin. Jesus tells us that the Advocate will prove the world wrong for not believing in me. That is his definition of sin. That is the most basic definition I have heard and yet, if you asked any of us before listening to it you would have a very detailed list of examples and where they came from and why. The scoffers were the ones not believing in Jesus. The scoffers are choosing to believe in what they think is right. They choose to know what is a sin, and separation from God. Scoffers think they have this down, but Jesus is reminding us that it is our belief in him that will open our eyes to sin. We can never assume we know what others are doing or how separated from God they are. For that is sin being separated from God, doubting God. I think if you are honest with yourself every person here has had sin as Jesus describes it here.

Then Jesus goes on to tell us about righteousness. That the Advocate will help us to prove the world or the church wrong with the idea of righteousness “because I am going to the Father and you will see me no longer,”. Righteousness is a difficult word to define, but the most basic definition I have had my seminary professors give me is being right with God. So what is Jesus speaking to here. People thought they knew him. The Pharisees get a bad rap in the Bible, but if we look at them they are men who devoted their entire lives to studying the Bible and following the rules every rule. They found the rules, categorized the rules and attempted to live perfectly for God. They were not bad guys, but they trapped themselves in their own thinking. They thought they could make themselves righteous. Self righteous. If they could only follow the rules, and then all would be well, and then comes this young upstart saying no,"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.” Luke 10:27. Do we do this? Are we more like the Pharisees? Do we settle into our way of doing things and our expectations on how things are done? Do we get upset when things aren't going the way we expect them? If someone decides not to do something in the traditional way? Do we get so used to doing the same things every year that the thought of stopping, re-evaluating and may be changing projects is as foreign as another language. Are we trapped in our expectations – trying our hardest to be holy, but missing the Advocate entirely because it is not in our normal mode of operation?

Ahh and finally the Advocate will come to prove the world wrong in regards to judgment, because the ruler of this world has been condemned. The world, both Jewish and Roman condemned Jesus to death. They put themselves in the seat of judgment. How many of us do that now? How many churches do that now? Jesus walks with us today. He has told us that we feed, cloth, or help the least we are helping him. How do people react to the poor, the homeless, those with drug addictions, alcoholism, mental illness, the elderly, the orphaned, the “punks” and “thugs”, the “Goth” teens, the single parents, the teen age moms, the disabled. How do we respond as a church?

We may see ourselves in this passage, but we need to also see our hope. Jesus sent the Advocate. It was not a one time deal. That Holy Spirit sent 2000 years ago is here in this room, present for us right here and now. Jesus promised the Advocate, Wonderful Councilor, Holy Spirit to come and be with us and during Pentecost with tongues of fire and a wind like no other the Holy Spirit swept through a room of 123 people and converted 500 more from the streets. That amazing, hard working Holy Spirit is calling us, is with us, surrounding us and helping to open our eyes to the ways we have become trapped by our own culture, our own thinking, our own expectations if we are simply open to that movement. Listen. Hear! Do something different!

Thank you God for your Advocate. Move through us now, kindle our hearts with your tongues of flame and help us to do your work in our world. Amen.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Boxing God



Acts. 10:44-48

Sometimes in life God throws us a curve ball. Well, usually in life God throws us a curve ball. We have all had the experience. We were going along thinking we were doing what God wanted and expecting the results. Then someone comes out of nowhere and throws your game. Where do they get off doing X, Y and Z?

The scripture this week hits even a little bit closer to home. Peter a devout Jew had been taught to not associate with anyone who was not Jewish. They were unclean and, well, just not right. He was taught by his society, by his culture, and by the norms of the day. These were not just little ways of not associating, but both sides clearly knew the rules and expectations. They knew their places. Not only did they know their places, but they also knew the places of the other.

We have groups like that today, don't we? Groups that we believe we know what they are, and what their place is. Groups that we can put in a box or category so that we can deal with them. We have the conservatives, and the liberals especially in congress. They seem to know their sides and have expectations and they play each other like a fine orchestra in order to put on a show. What about the rich and the poor, the business owners and the unemployed, wall street and the 99%. Let's not forget the social issues, the heterosexuals and homosexuals, the Christians and the Atheist, the extremist and the moderates in every faith. What about physical groups? Blacks, Whites, Latinos, Asians, Russians, Germans, French, Brazilian, Disabled, able bodied, female, male. We all have expectations. Not one person here could listen to that list and not have several moments of free associations. You either smiled or cringed. You had a thought good or bad just because of the labels you heard and many of you may have planted your foot a little deeper in that camp. You confirmed for yourself the type of people you put in that box and what they look like, sound like and how you think they act.

But here is the kicker, what you think you know about any of those things may not be how it actually is. If you got to know that gay Latino from Wall Street you may just be surprised that she didn't fit into any of your boxes. Once you start putting boxes of expectation around things you leave little room to actually get to understand them. We do the same thing with God. Once you put that box of expectation around God you are limiting your understanding of the working and movement of the Holy Spirit. When you box in God you tend to loose what the Holy Spirit is doing. The Holy Spirit is in charge and can do amazing things.

God had been working on Peter, showing him that maybe it wasn't quite so clear cut. God had let him experience Cornelius, the faithful Guard whose entire family converted. God showed Peter to start expecting the unexpected. Despite what his followers thought they knew about non Jews, Peter was preaching to them. He was stepping outside the social boxes that both the Jews and the Pagans had established. Peter stopped looking at the situation of life between Jews and non Jews in only one way and made room for the Holy Spirit. He realized that God can work outside of his expectations and was willing to do something completely opposite of what his culture told them.

And Boy did the Holy Spirit blow in like the wind before Peter could even finish his sermon. Did he continue with his sermon – because the people were expecting it? NO! He acknowledged the Holy Spirit and called it like it was. The Holy Spirit is in this place with these people and who could deny them baptism?

Think about who you have been denying? I don't care what good reasons you have, but think about that list about those you have been denying. Those you don't want to talk to or about or with. Ask yourself a truthful why? Pray for those groups and for your own understanding. It is about time we stop limiting God's work and start looking at the world with renewed vision given to us by Jesus Christ. It is about time we stopped boxing God into our own human categories and started appreciating the fact that God can do what ever God wants. If we but listen, we can see the Glory of the Lord all around us. It is time to stop judging people and start loving them. You don't have to go up and hug anybody now, just treat them with human decency, respect and an open mind. Perhaps if more people did this we could actually truly be living out the gospel of Christ.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Our Awesome God

I have been struggling since the 3rd trying to figure out what God is calling me to do.  I have been praying and asking for direction, clarity, confirmation, anything!

God answers.

I had an amazing experiencing planning a service with my colleagues at CRCD for the seniors.  It was such fun to plan with a group of people who were excited to serve.  I had lots of help with music and readings and amazing friends to help light candles, decorate and un-decorate rooms, serve food, just being there for each other.  We are all Methodists and are all struggling with the outcomes at General Conference.

Then, of course I was thinking that it was just great people.

I was finishing up the last bits of clean up from the altar and communion and met an amazing woman from HOPE Lodge. This is the building next to the campus that houses those who are going through treatment with cancer or illnesses in the redone dormitories on campus.  The building is beautiful, the people are friendly and I have been to a few dinners over there sponsored by campus groups.

The amazing lady I met came in with someone who was following her to write a story from RIT.  She wanted to show him the carving in the front of the altar of the last supper - which is truly beautiful. I offered her communion and she was so thankful.  That is true communion - coming to the table so thankful for Christ.  It was amazing. I felt God moving in that space.  We prayed together and we were both nearly in tears by the time she left.  She didn't realize that Hope Lodge residents could attend the church services.  She was so excited by that.  I had never thought they didn't know.

As I walked back marveling over God's work and how God uses people to help each other I couldn't help but to say a prayer of thanks.  She did not realize it, but I needed her witness to Christ as much as she may have needed the communion.

I then had a conversation with the District Superintendent from Genesee Valley.  He had attended conference.  I needed to hear from some one who was there if he felt heard.  If there was room in this church for people like me and for change.  He was amazing. Ted answered my questions honestly and could understand my frustration and disappointment, but he gave me hope.  Betsy who works with him found articles for me and they gave me hope once more.

Then in truly God fashion (at least in my life), I ran into Katrina who is the person organizing services next year.  We chatted about HOPE house and the needs for altar decorations and items for services.  We had some great ideas for next semester and outreach to HOPE house.  I left feeling love.  I felt energized, and a clear confirmation in my call and where I am right now in the United Methodist Church.

I am still disappointed, but change can not happen unless it starts from the ground up.  By the sheer joy in my interactions with others, I felt God's love surround me and encourage me forward.   I do not know what is next, or where I will go, but I do know with all of my being that God is working in it and that I am right where God wants me to be right now!  That is all that I need.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

General Conference Pain


I have been thinking about the General Conference for the United Methodist church a lot.  To be honest I never thought I would.  It seemed so obsolete.  There is a big group of people who get together to alter the Book of Discipline.  The first time I experienced General Conference I was not even aware it was happening.  This year I definitely was.  I got updates from friends.  I checked out the website.  I even watched some video clips.  I found myself so intimately involved in what was going on that some of their pain was mine.  I also found that their decisions were going to affect me and my ministry for a very long time.

They voted to do away with guaranteed appointments, but we are still itinerant.  I understand the itinerantcy (asking us to move when needed), but if we are not guaranteed to have an income to provide for our families how can we be itinerant?  We need to be able to live someplace where we can get another job and for some pastors another house if we find ourselves church less.  I have faith that God will see me through this, but it just doesn't feel like they were thinking about the pastors. It felt like a large business making executive decisions.  It was not even voted on on the floor to the best of my understanding.   Now we may not feel the ramifications here in this conference, but there are some pastors I know that definitely feel betrayed and hurt by this decision.

Then we move onto restructuring. It was voted upon and so many people were confused and upset about the new structure and we found out it was unconstitutional. Now there is a feeling of unsettledness.

Then we get to the idea of our Lesbian, Gay, Transgendered, and Bisexual brothers and sisters and where they stand in the the church. There was so much pain in those conversations. Finally the vote to remove some offensive phrasing about LGBT embers being against the will of God from our Discipline was voted down. I then read a response from some upper New York delegates who were delighted with the results. For the first time since I have felt called I did not feel wanted by the United Methodist Church. Mind you I am as straight as they come and very firm in my gender identity but I felt hurt and unwanted. Rev. Van Dussen made it clear that “we” had to be firm and scriptural, and there was no room for this in the church. You see I have prayerfully considered this question for a long time and received a different revelation. Does that mean there is no room for me in this church? He then came across very clear as there is no room for change on this matter and that it was prayerfully the work of God.

I have to ask – was it? I read a great deal of research in high school on brain chemistry and fundamental differences in brains and genes. Did God not make us? Did God not call us all good? Check out Genesis if you need a recap. Then when I read some passages in the Bible that sounded anti homosexual to a modern reader I was upset, but was willing to listen to the Lord. For two years I prayed about it. For two years I talked about it in a group where the majority did not believe that Homosexual activities were okay by “God” yet they were willing to have the conversations. I found the answer in my heart with a revelation when I was reading scripture and I knew what the answer was. God made all things and called them all Good! Including my LBGT brothers and Sisters. Later on I learned that when reading the scriptures at the time periods what they were refering to. None of them, not one that that has been presented to me as anti gay was written regarding loving monogamous relationships with partners. Not one of them referred to a relationship, but rather either aggressive acts of dominance or pagan worship rituals. This is not what I have witnessed in gay couples I have met.

Then I read about Jesus's radical social justice movements. I am pretty sure he was fighting a religious consensus on what was right, what was okay, and what was accepted. So to be told by Mr. Van Dussen that this was a done topic and that we upheld the right beliefs and there is no room in the UMC for this or for the compassion that was shown these people made me so angry. How can anyone say that compassion is wrong. Understanding and reaching out to one in pain is wrong. Have you ever seen an alcoholic go through withdrawal? Would you sit there even if you thought it was due to their own “sin” and let them suffer without compassion? If you are any type of Christian I hope you answer that No. Then how can you let a person whom society and the church has hurt sit in their pain without compassion. How can you be so self righteous.

This is why my generation has checked out of the church. When you can't treat people who are wonderful gracious, God fearing people with dignity why should I bother to try and be fed by your “spirituality”? I know I am screwed up and sinful and messed up on more levels than one so I am in no position to judge. I also do not need to be judged by anyone else. My conscience does a pretty bang up job of it regularly, thank you very much.

So I am left wondering – God is there room for me here? You have shown me that I am to help, love, and respect my LGBT brothers and sisters, and yet I am not sure how to do that in an environment that does not see any room for your divine revelation. What am I to do now? What are those hurt by this church to do now? 


The article link is here: http://www.unyumc.org/news/detail/1154

Saturday, April 21, 2012

How are you called to be a Witness?


Luke 24: 36b-48

You are in morning. A very dear friend has passed from your existence and yet some people talk about seeing him. You are skeptical. Ghosts are not real and everyone sane knows that. Perhaps the loss of their friend has driven them from their senses, but you know reality from fiction.  You know no one could possibly have seen Jesus. He was dead.

Then Jesus appears before you. Fear and trepidation are your first thoughts, perhaps anger that someone is tricking you. Doubt. Did someone slip something in my drink? If Jesus is truly before me then what else that I thought could never happen is true? Do I know truth? Panic, fear, confusion a complete sense of loss is overpowered by your desire to make what you see real and an equal desire to explain away what you see so that it is not real, because if it is real....then...then what?

Into this bedlam of confusion, internal and external turmoil Jesus himself says “Peace be with you” ......and it is. The peace that passes understanding, the peace of Christ. You are transformed and come to a broader understanding in that moment because of the peace of Christ.

The first followers of “the way” or early Christians were not dumb, nor were they superstitious or easily fooled. They were not any different from you or I and to see someone you know to be dead appear before you showing you that there is substance to his body would be startling at best, causing you to verge on a breakdown at worse. This truly allows you to understand how important those words of peace are.

When we speak them each week in church, they are not empty wishes, they are not just moments to catch up with each other – they are truly a moment where we can offer each other the peace that passes understanding a true desire for peace to each other. A blessing of the highest order that Christ will give you the blessing of peace right there in that moment no matter what you are going through, no matter how far away from peace your life is at that moment.

The peace of Christ that we offer each other is truly a gift from God that can transform our lives as well as all those that you choose to pass that gift on to.

Then Jesus shows us his hands and feet. The very hands and feet that have been tortured, that walked to Golgatha that were nailed to the cross. They are his, they are not imaginings, or phantoms but actually his real body. They are not completely healed. Maybe that says something to us. When we come to Christ and accept Christ and receive the peace of Christ we still have our baggage, our scars, or skeletons. What ever you like to call them. We still have them. Christ still had them, but we are no longer held down by them. Jesus was no longer pinned to the cross by them, he no longer experienced pain from the holes in his hands and feet. Perhaps that has something to say for us. Christianity is not magic, it does not make what has happened to us disappear, our faith does not conquer our experiences, but with Jesus we no longer have to be held down by it. We are no longer alone in those pains, we can be free to experience a peace no one can take from us.

Then Jesus asks for a meal. This is why communion is so important to me. In each of the experiences Jesus has after rising from death those around him come to know him through sharing of a meal – through hospitality. We come to know God when we share in communion because it is where God chooses to meet us in a special way. It is hospitality. We can choose to share that hospitality as I did with the snacks on the way in, or we can choose to go through the motions and leave with a bit of bread and grape juice in our stomachs. But if we seize the opportunity to come to know Christ in the moment of hospitality, of sharing bread and fruit of the vine with one another and Christ in Holy communion and just allow God's presence to be soaked up as the disciples did – God can transform you as he did them.

But be warned that if you choose to come to the table in that manner Christ also is going to expect some more from you. 

He continued to explain the scriptures. Notice these are learned people in the scriptures yet they still need to discuss them in a group, to work on them and to accept and expect new understandings each time they review them. How many of us truly approach Bible study in this manner – with eyes wide open and expectant? 

Then Jesus calls for us to repent and through that repentance find forgiveness. The forgiveness that comes from God and God alone.  We can not do anything but turn to God, God does the rest. 

Finally we are called to be witnesses to ALL NATIONS beginning in Jerusalem of these things that happened.

That is what just may happen if you come to the table expectant.  Mind you Jesus's witnesses did not seem to mean in this context going about telling people how to act. Witnessing seemed to start with hospitality, with an open table to all who wished to partake, with an expression of love. Then it seems that it continued with conversation and with that understanding, following personal repentance and forgiveness. In no place did Jesus tell us to tell our neighbor what was wrong with him, or how she should be living. I know we can be quite good at that. No Jesus asked us to be his witnesses, to share his good news.

For me that good news is that I am not alone in this uncontrollable world. I have an ally. I am loved and accepted no matter what and that repentance and forgiveness is an ongoing cycle mixed in with good conversations and getting to know people. The good news is a love that I know God has for me despite the fact I am not worthy of it, and could never live a perfect enough life to be worthy of it. I am still trying to figure out how to witness to that and I think that is part of my call. It is one of those things that I will get close to be not really get. And that is okay because I am not in it alone.

What are you called to be a witness to? How are you called to be a witness? What do you need to do to witness to all people, or show love to people you have a hard time loving? What are you being called to this very moment in that small and still place in your heart?

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Living

On my three hour trek to school the other day I found myself thinking.  That is one thing I truly enjoy about the commute!  I was thinking about why I have been struggling so much lately.  I don't look like I am struggling (at least I thought so), but I feel it.  I feel regret over rushing my kids, or not savoring every single moment I could.  I feel anxiety over them growing so fast and worrying whether they understand how much I love them.  I worry about my daughter going to school and bullies.  I worry about selling our house, and if we do sell our house.  I worry about serving God and helping people, and what if I cause someone else to fall on their journey.  I focus on how to get through.... I push forward and so often I find myself thinking I only have to get through the next month....three months....week.  

Then I stopped.  

God has given me a precious gift.  God died and over came death not so that I could "get through" but so that I may LIVE.  I need to live in the moment.  To truly stop and breath and experience the now.  Enjoy my morning stretch, take my son's screaming fit as a time to practice meditative breathing, to notice the world around me waking up.  God died for me so that I may Live.  Live now and here and be.  God did not die so that I could live in heaven alone, but so that I could live here on Earth.  So I could experience God's fingerprints in everything around me and notice them. God came for me.  Not to get me through, not to push me through this life, but give me a chance to see it with new eyes each morning and a new heart full of promise each evening, if I allow it.

Yet I find myself a million times a day slipping into my conventional thinking, trying to escape the here and now because it can be overwhelming, frightening and unpredictable.  I guess that is why God gives us those moments of clarity.  That way we can think back to them and refocus ourselves, and work on training our brains to let God in and stop getting through.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

An Easter People

Mark 16:1-8a (Click on the link to read).
Bible Gateway parallel passage

The women hear the news of Jesus and run away scared.  The story is left open, and no original ending exists other than that for Mark.  Scribes over the years feeling the incompleteness have added their own endings trying to tidy it up a bit, but that is not how Mark wrote it.  Why?

Mark was reflecting life, on our lives.  We are not tidy; there are no absolutes in our endings, our beginnings nor our middles.  Life is messy and complicated and God speaks to us in it.  Sometimes God scares the crap out of us and sometimes there are just cliff hangers and you have to decide what to do. Mark is inviting you to the cliff hanger.  Now what?  The three people who knew the story run home in silence not to tell the story, but wait …. now you know.  So what do you do?

In our culture we are drawn to either the grossly horrific – reality television, or the fairy tales – those love story movies like Sleepless in Seattle or You’ve Got Mail.  We want assurance that our lives aren’t “as bad as all that”, and we are not as screwed up as we thought.  We also want assurance that there still is a happy ending for someone, and maybe it will be me someday.

In telling our own stories we add or delete things depending on how it makes us sound, or what the point is that we are trying to make.  We try to forget things that happened and gloss up occurrences to remember only the best bits. 

This is what Mark knows.  People have not changed their story telling so dramatically in two thousand years that Mark didn’t recognize those patterns in the stories of his day.  He wants us to pay attention to this story; he wants to leave space in this story for us, each and every single one of us, because this is not the story of Jesus alone, or Mary Magdalene, or Mary the mother of James or Salome.  This is the beginning of our story. 

God meets you in your mess; God meets you where you are.  Sometimes we are like Mary Magdalene, who has just watched your best friend be tortured and killed, to be poked and prodded like a horrific side show attraction.  You have seen him carried into a tomb and struggled to grasp how someone so alive, so vibrant, so full of love and life, someone who has done only good has died.  How could an innocent man who has done nothing to hurt anyone physically – just their pride be killed by a mob.  How helpless and how confused she must have felt when she ran into that angel.

Thirteen years ago today I lost my dad and God gained an angel.  The empty hollow feeling was there, the anger at God; the struggle to grasp your brain around the hole that has been ripped into your being was there. I imagine the three women felt very much like that. 

I imagine we have all felt beyond God’s love, beyond hope, beyond compassion, beyond being touchable by God at some point.  Perhaps you were so angry with your situation that if an angel showed up telling you be not afraid you would punch him and then ask him what kind of idiot he was.  You were hurt and angry and afraid to figure out how to live in a new way and then this angel comes all glowing white to tell you what to feel?  When my dad died an old car got the sore end of a crowbar – I am not sure what I would have done to that angel if he showed up while I was beating up a junker in the junk yard.  On a good day I may have run away in fear and trepidation like Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome.  On a bad day I probably would have tried to bargain for my dad and then punched him.

But this is the point - Jesus came for us in those moments, in these moments.  Jesus came to show us how to live through the pain, to comfort us and let us know we are not alone in this world, to guide us and challenge us to live up to his standards.  Jesus rose from that tomb to share with us the Holy Spirit so that at any point and time we have direct access to God and knowledge that God is listening, is there and will help us through it if we can just allow him enough space in our life.

The challenge Mark leaves us with is not three silent women walking away from a tomb.  The challenge Mark leaves us with is what are you going to do with the good news?  What are you going to do with the precious and perfect gift of the Holy Spirit?  Are you going to lock it within yourself where it can grow old and moldy and loose its power or are you going to live it?  To act like a resurrected people?  Are you going to choose to look for God and to see the footprints of the Holy Spirit in your lives every day or are you going to stare into a dusty empty tomb and regret what is now not the same?  God is calling us on this resurrection Sunday to live!  To see! To Hear! God is calling us to seek and find and make this our story.  How are you going to do that?  How are you going to be an Easter people?